My New Perspective

“History repeats itself,” a friend told me, I guess she’s right, after almost two months of joys and struggles, here I am trapped again in the reccuring history of my past…

I thought its love, I thought that we’ll make it through the storm, I thought he is my answered prayer, its just what I thought… I never regret anything, cause I learned a lot from this two- month love test. I did things that I never thought I am capable of. I conclude a lot of things and proven it. Well I can say that I did everything to fight for this but there are things that was not really meant, and it includes us… No bitterness, no hatred, no guilt feelings, these I promise you… Why should I? Its not my loss, well, Im not saying that its his loss, its just that I never lost anything, instead, I gain… I gain a lot…

I never lose pride while flagging it down, instead I gain strength while doing it. I never lose myself during my darkest days instead I gain self esteem to stand on my own. I never lose control on my emotions infact I learned how to drive it. I never lose someone when I lost him, infact I have more than enough now, now that I know who are really true in this world of lies, who are with you in your ups and downs, who are your shoulders when you cry… my family, my friends, my Lord…

Thank you for the memories, it will be always treasured, for the tears that are converted to strengths, for the pain that serves as challenges…Thanks to you for making me better and deserving to the person that I’m really meant with…

“ History repeats itself” a friend told me, I don’t know how long will this history be repeating itself, I don’t know how much pain will it bring, how much tears will I shed, how much struggles will I face, all I know is every time the clock ticks, everytime the sun rises and sets, everytime that this history repeats, there will always be a room for innovation…

-charmz 04/14/09
11:55pm

My Hope

”History repeats itself”, a friend told me, if that’s so, does that mean that I will always be loser in love? That I will always be neglected and rejected? That it’s really impossible that I could be their first priority?

In my age, I had passed through different kinds of relationship, I need not to mention it, and maybe because it wasn’t really right from the beginning it ended bitterly. Maybe, I really should’ve make it right from the start, maybe I should’ve never done that, maybe I should’ve not tolerated that… so many regrets, regrets that will just trapped me to my old self, regrets that haunts me up to this moment. I promised to myself that if I fall in love again, I will make it right from the very start so that everything will run smooth, we might have problems or misunderstanding but we can solve it. We will be happy in our first date, while watching the sunset in the bay, so simple yet romantic. We will celebrate our anniversaries walking in the seashore, holding hands, forgetting all the pains of yesterday, overlooking the worries of tomorrow. We will plan the best wedding, as everyone witness our vows to each other they will testify our never- ending love. We will build our dreams together, our family, the number of children, the location of our future house, our dream vacation, our years together, our process of aging, our lives, our death…

“History repeats itself”, a friend told me, “but it might have a different ending”, she continued. Maybe she’s right I may have the same cases of love before but who knows, this time, it will be the end of a recurring history…

-charmz02/08/09
11:09pm

YOU, My Father...

YOU, My Father

You are a cup of coffee in a cold Sunday morning
In a trembling heart, warmth and comfort you bring
You are the cerulean sky after the heaven cried
New hope for tomorrow assured, with You by my side…

You are my best friend, I can rely on forever
A half of slipper, can’t walk unless in pair
You’re my adviser when heart is confused and weary
Hug me tight to take away anxiety…

You are my Father that provides for me
A tough wall I can lean for eternity
You are the source of my strength everyday
That makes me survive in every way…

You are my knight in shining armor
In my life’s voyage, you are my anchor
You are the clouds swathing the firmament
That catches me during falling moments…

You are my Savior that saves me from death
My Redeemer that sustains breath
In my heart you lead, you reign
God Almighty, you take away the pain…

Presently I’ll walk, not alone anymore
Cause there’s already two sets of footprints in the seashore
My God will accompany me up to the finished line
His love is unending; no one can ever define…

-charmz’09
07/14/09
4:22pm